Why do not forgive everyone?

“Sorry and will become easier,” says a friend. “Well, why are you sulking?”Asks a partner who tore anger an hour ago and did not apologize. And we forgive, let go, try to forget. But the psychologist Harriet Lerner is sure that it is not necessary to forgive everyone at all and even harmful.

The air is in the air that everyone needs to forgive everyone. It is broadcast with good intentions, but in itself is harmful. Its essence is that forgiveness is the path to life free from bitterness and hatred. And if you cannot forgive an unscrupulous offender, then you are a spiritually undeveloped person and you are threatened with serious emotional and physical problems. These myths hurt people. But there are many ways to let go and find peace that are not related to forgiveness. If you believe that forgiveness, like gratitude, is a universal healing emotion, you begin to promote this idea and you can even start putting pressure on others so that they forgive those who hurt them.

But it often happens that the offender did not even apologize, lives as if nothing had happened, does not feel remorse and does not recognize his


mistake. “The way your father did is with you is a longtime business. I see no reason to delve into the past and melt old grievances. Can’t you forgive him and live on calmly?” – asks the mother from the adult daughter. Mother can speak so out of good motives, but risks the victim to turn his daughter.

And what to hear the offended side?

To be healed, an offended person needs to hear clear confirmation of the fact that he experienced is terrible

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